Craziness

I wish I could say that I do this every year around the same time but I don't. I gave up on new year's resolutions a long damn time ago. Now, all I try to focus on is action. Actually doing the things I say I'm gonna do. I spent so much of my time and great effort working to attain something that, I realized later, wouldn't really benefit me in the long run anyway. At first, I was bummed, hell, even angry. But as I laid it out more in my mind, I realized how much time I'd spent and that not all of it was wasted. I learned so much about people and what they're willing to endure and put up with and what they won't. I learned of the true strength and endurance of true friendships. I re-learned about Hodge podge family. And through it all, I learned more about myself.

I realized the kind of person I am, want to be, and who I don't want to be. Learned that my freedom is directly linked to my happiness. That my old feelings of resisting authority are still there but have only been tempered. That my precious time with the family I created is much more important than the family that is forced, fake, phony, and finite.

Overall, my experience was one of learning though not necessarily life-changing even though I have decided to alter the way I do things. I realized I need more order in my life not more chaos and chaotic people. I wish everyone involved the best in life and love and eternal happiness. Know that I'll love you from here. I'm glad our paths crossed and know that you have touched my life as I'm sure I've touched yours.

I don't wish luck for new year's as there is nothing new under the Sun, only a recycling; I wish love. Time is not linear and as simple as we think it is. Time is chaotic order and conducts itself as it needs to.....  we can not wield it or control it but we can enjoy the ride it takes us on. Just remember to have fun along the way and wave to the passers-by....... you'll definitely be seeing them again! :)

--- AutumnAkasha